the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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