Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
