I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
