the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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