I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
