All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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