Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
