No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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