last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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