she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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