I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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