before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
