Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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