Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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