if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
