Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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