Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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