How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
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