he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
smell my finger.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
