Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
