He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
