I need help removing her.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
well you can't waste a boner
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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