Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
