If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
