At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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