You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
