Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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