The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
