their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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