I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
