the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
