Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
