where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
