Little spoons don't ask big questions
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When are your genitals available?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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