There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
