i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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