i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you would pick up someone in the library
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
