I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
