I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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