Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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