We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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