She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
