His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
