why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
