Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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