i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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