Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
