And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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