You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I am available for nakedness
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
