Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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