you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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