I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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