What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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