Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
