I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
